Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
