i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
