I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
