So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fill condoms, not promises.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
