I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize