When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
