Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize