Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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