i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
