She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize