Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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