Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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