Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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