I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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