At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
