I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You pole danced in your parka.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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