He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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