what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
