Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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