this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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