I need help removing her.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's never too late to be topless.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize