Tell her she can't have a vagina
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize