apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize