OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize