i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize