She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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