goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
