My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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