i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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