let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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