She announced her abortion via fbk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
