Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
