we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
