You can't special order awesome
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
