Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
