You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
