people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
