Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
