You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
