Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize