i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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