I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
