your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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