I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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