Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
