I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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