I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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