I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
