I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
