I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
