I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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