I need help removing her.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
