dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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