no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
