I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
