I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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