ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize